Our single daughter and her three children have been living with us while our daughter, Kristy, attended nursing school. Now that she is a RN (hooray!), she has bought a home close to us and moved about two weeks ago. It has been an unsettling experience for all 3 children, but especially Siddiq, our Aspie boy. I am not quite sure what all is going on in his head – and I doubt he does. He and his Mom have had some difficult days but with God’s help, she has managed to deal with him very appropriately and effectively. If you have an Aspie child you know how exhilarating these children, and how frustrating they can be. Kristy has started to blog to help her work through some of the questions and issues that arise from raising an Aspie child. If you would like to read more about it and maybe even write comments about it to Kristy, here is her blog:
http://www.lifewithanaspie.blogspot.com
May God bless you today and if you are dealing with an Aspie child, may He give you wisdom from above.
Talk to you soon again..
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Any ideas how to handle child in any way would be great for a new parent to an aspie daughter
Megan, I have passed your comment on to Kristy and I think sometime in the future she will try to help by posting tips that helped her.
I have five kiddies on the spectrum.
Two daughters and a son ranging in age from 3 year olds to 24.
What age is your daughter? How aware is she of her difference from her peers? What type of treatments/education has she had. How has she responded?
Here is a story you probably have heard, but I always thought helped to put parenting in perspective for children with special needs.
“But I Wanted to Go to Italy!”
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like you’re planning a vacation to Italy. You are all excited. Seeing the Coliseum…the Michelangelo..the gondolas of Venice. You get a whole bunch of guidebooks. You learn a few phrased in Italian so you can order in restaurants and get around. When it comes time, you excitedly pack your bags, head for the airport, and take off for Italy…only when you land, the stewardess announces “Welcome to Holland.”
You look at one another in disbelief and shock saying, “Holland? What are you talking about–Holland? I signed up for Italy!” But they explain that there’s been a change of plans and the plane has landed in Holland– and there you must stay.
“But I don’t know anything about Holland! I don’t want to stay here”, you say. “I never wanted to come to Holland!” “I don’t know what to do in Holland and I don’t want to learn!” But you do stay. You go out and buy some new guidebooks. You learn some new phrases in a whole new language and you meet people you never knew existed.
But the important thing is that you are not in a filthy, plague-infested slum full of pestilence and famine. You are simply in another place, a different place than you had planned. It’s slower paced than Italy; less flashy than Italy; but after you’ve been there a little while and have had a chance to catch your breath, you begin to discover that Holland has windmills…Holland has tulips…Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone else you know is busy coming and going from Italy. And they’re all bragging about what a great time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was going, that’s where I was supposed to go, that’s what I had planned.” And the pain of that will never go away.
And you have to accept that pain because the loss of that dream, the loss of that plan is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you will never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.
Source: Copyright © 1990 by the American Association on Mental Retardation Lifespan Perspectives on the Family and Disability, Judy O. Berry, Michael L. Hardiman. Allyn & Bacon, Needham Heights, MA, 1998.
I am a Special ed teacher and I have taught many autistic children. I would like more info on Magic 123. Every Autistic child is so different, it would be impossible for me to give you any blanket statements that may help.
Important keys:
Structure. They like predictability and routine.
Visual Schedules. Are you familiar with icons and picture schedules?
Intuitiveness. Know that he may be screaming because you think he doesn’t want to do something when that is not the problem at all. He may not like the way his shirt collar feels but he is melting down at dinner and you think he doesn’t like the food. You will become a great detective.
god bless you all.
Peggy